


Farfarello and the Children

by frk_werewolf (wolfelements)



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Anti God, Farfarello teaches kids, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 20:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7479678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfelements/pseuds/frk_werewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Farfarello participates in the yearly community service program.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Farfarello and the Children

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know, guys, seriously.

He didn't know how he found himself in this particular mess. Farfarello watched as one of the little midgets threw their bright red truck at a girl across the room. The girl rubbed at the spot and whined in pain. Farfarello was shocked, and almost proud, to find she didn't cry.

"Now, I'll be back in a few hours, okay?" Schuldig informed him from the doorway.

"They're small," Farfarello stated.

"Yes, well, they're children, remember?" Schuldig rolled his eyes.

"Why must I do this?" Farfarello asked. Past Schuldig, Farfarello could see the girl with the bruised head stalking toward the boy who had hit her. 

"Because you lost the bet," Schuldig replied. "Brad had to go to some stupid meeting and Nagi is at school. That left me and you."

"Assassins taking care of children," Farfarello said, "does not compute."

"Does it look like I care? It's that damn community service thing we have to do every year, you know that. Last year Nagi taught the little brats how to create a computer virus," Schuldig explained, "and this year you get to teach them something destructive."

Farfarello looked over at the bruised girl, who had tied the boy to the large, plastic fridge in the corner. He turned back to Schuldig and raised an eyebrow. 

"See? This will be easy!" Schuldig beamed. The door slammed shut as he left, leaving Farfarello in a room of tiny people. Their wide eyes stared up at him, before they immediately returned to their activities.

After a few minutes of simply watching the tiny tots in disgust, Farfarello felt a slight tug on his pant leg. He looked down to find a little boy with a thoughtful look on his chubby little face. "Mr.?"

"Yes?" Farfarello asked.

"Can you tell us a story?" The midget asked hopefully.

"Yes! Yes! Tell us a story!" a few other children exclaimed. Farfarello twitched.

"...." Farfarello thought for a moment, before beginning to speak in a soft tone. The children sat, enraptured. "Once upon a time there was a man named..."

"Orion!" a little girl yelled.

"...And he was a great hunter," Farfarello said. "In fact, he was a hunter of God."

"Why didn't he like God?" The tied up boy in the corner asked. Farfarello twitched again and fought down the urge to go into a very long rant.

"Because God used to hit him with things when they were younger," Farfarello finally said. The bruised girl smiled smugly. Farfarello found himself liking her. "So, Orion went after God with his bow and arrow and shot him!"

"Ooooh," the children said in awe.

"God let out a large cry, calling upon his evil animals!" Farfarello exclaimed in a dramatic voice. "Except only one animal came, because all of the others were off doing things like eating and sleeping. The scorpion raised its tail and bam!"

The children jumped in shock and, inwardly, Farfarello was cackling.

"Orion died and painful, horrible death filled with agony and blood," Farfarello concluded. 

"What about God?" a little boy asked.

"He died, too," Farfarello replied.

"..." The children looked at each other.

"It's true," Farfarello informed them. "Why do you think there are so many wars?"

"My mommy says that God loves us--" a little girl said in a pompous tone.

"Well, you're mommy lacks the brain capacity required to understand the true nature of God," Farfarello interrupted. A couple of midgets snickered at this.

"Well, I thought God was really mean for killing poor Orion like that," the bruised girl said.

"Yeah!" the majority of tiny people agreed.

Farfarello was hit with a sudden sense of pride. He had done this. It almost made him want to cry. Suddenly, having to do this community service thing wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
